Public health, climate change, humanity remain insignificant issues to dirty energy companies influencing lawmakers to kill clean energy and climate change bills
SACRAMENTO, Calif.–Oil industry executives clinked glasses and patted each other on the back today, congratulating themselves on the staggering $11 million spent on lobbying efforts in California during the third quarter of 2015. Several executives were overheard praising their own efforts to defeat climate change and clean energy legislation intended to improve public health, reduce dependency on oil, and ensure the preservation of a livable climate for future generations.
The $11 million in lobbying expenditures were largely devoted to removing petroleum provisions from SB 350 (De León), and eclipsed the $10 million spent by the industry on the Yes on Prop 23 campaign in 2010, an unsuccessful effort to repeal AB32, California’s landmark climate legislation passed in 2006.
“After the $10 million stack we forklifted onto Prop 23 didn’t fool California, we knew there was only one alternative to keep John and Jane Doe dependent on oil and petroleum – spend more,” said Looten Plunder, CEO of a major oil company. “Luckily, as the most profitable industry in the world ever, we have paper stacks to the ceiling, so we can lobby California legislatures and keep the public addicted to our gas guzzling, dirty energy agenda.”
Although SB 350 was signed into law by Governor Jerry Brown and will ensure California continues to lead the nation on energy efficiency and in the generation of electricity from renewable sources, a provision requiring a 50 percent reduction in petroleum use in the state over the next 15 years was removed from the final bill. A core group of moderate Democrats were largely seen as responsible for the removal of the petroleum provision after lobbying efforts by Big Oil swayed their vote.
“It’s incredible what a couple of nights at The Ritz Carlton and some juicy steak dinners can accomplish when it comes to manipulating California politicians,” noted Hoggish Greedly, a key industry lobbyist. “But really, who wants to create jobs, improve public health and listen to the scientific community when we can burn through money and fossil fuels? Throw in a couple of box seats to the game and it’s a win-win for everyone. And by ‘everyone,’ I mean oil executives.”
With fourth quarter lobbying expenditures not due until early 2016, it remains unclear whether or not Big Oil will set a new record for annual lobbying dollars spent by any industry in California history. Click here for an infographic highlighting all the laws the oil industry successful defeated this legislative session.
“You know the old saying about fooling some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time? Well apparently it only takes $11 million to fool moderate dems enough of the time,” said oil industry elder statesman Argos Bleak. “We’re proud of our team’s commitment to outspending anyone who dares challenge our future vision of status quo, which promises to hurt our economy, lower life expectancy, and destroy the climate for future generations. Fat cats have to get fatter, and we think last quarter’s lobbying figures show our commitment to throw money at politicians until we get our way.”
In case it’s not obvious yet, this press release is satire, brought to you by Stop Fooling California. We are an online public education and awareness campaign that highlights oil companies’ efforts to mislead and confuse Californians. It’s time to set the record straight. It’s time for Big Oil to #StopFoolingCA http://www.